The Village Explainer – 3: “Help, an Animal!”

A final word in the Village Explainer mini series…

When you’re writing fiction, imagine it’s a movie on the screen of your reader’s mind. In movies, there is always something on the screen, something specific. We don’t watch a closeup of an “animal.” It is a specific animal–a cat, a dog, a bat, a dinosaur.

Resist the tendency to write with Village Explainerish words or phrases. Be aware that when you do, you’re using blunt, off-the-shelf language, useful for classifying things and placing them in general context, but not for conjuring images specific enough to play on the screen of your mind.

Even if you start with the specific, beware the natural human tendency to slide back into the general, like this….

“A sudden thrust of hot wind, searing plaster, and shards of china ripped through the kitchen wall [specific]. The effects of the explosion continued through the location so quickly that its effects were instantly fatal to many of the diners [general]. Can you see what happened there–the sudden drop in emotional temperature, as the second sentence went general?

One more: sticking with the horrific, if I write, “A grizzly bear broke into the house and killed three people!” That’s frightening. Sort of. But not as frightening as it could be, because it’s only a fairly general narrative report. Think of the impossibility of putting it on a movie screen of the mind. Only the species of bear and the number of victims are specified–no ages or sexes, no images of how the bear did its killing, who went first, what kind of vain attempts to resist or escape the others might have made. None of that is there.

Click for The Village Explainer – Part 1…and Part 2

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